That means tomorrow we leave home again in pursuit of a four chambered heart for Tiernan.
Surgery is scheduled for this coming Friday.
I could go on and on about how freaxious I am right now, but I'm quite sure most of you know that already.
We have spent the last 9 1/2 weeks attempting to keep Tiernan free of all germs (VICTORY IS MINE!!!!) without completely losing our minds from staying home all the time. We had such amazing help from Cousin Michelle and puppy Jazz, Pops and G-Ma Flynn. Tiernan was absolutely thrilled with all of his companions. But, in all honesty, he is quite enamored of his Michelle. He talks about her all the time. (Don't worry Pops and G-Ma....you get lots of air time as well.)
The longer we spent at home, the more Tiernan missed his pre-school peeps. They have been missing him as well, and we actually did FaceTime during show and tell one day. Another day, he and I had to drive to Tacoma to pick up my race packet for the Sound to Narrows run and he BEGGED me to just drive by his preschool so he could just see it. As luck would have it, Miss Kassi was outside and he got to talk to her a little bit.
We have also spent a fair amount of time talking about his surgery and playing doctor. One thing is quite clear though. He has very specific medical knowledge that other kids his age just don't. As he and his girlfriend, Sophia were playing doctor, he told her she needed a blood draw. Her eyes got enormous and she decided playing doctor wasn't such a great idea after all. hahahahah.
So instead, his stuffies have had blood draws galore. They have also had all their vitals checked and received numerous shots for various reasons. It is fascinating in a sad sort of way to listen to him use the same words and phrases that we and his medical team use.
I also discovered this AMAZING pain scale. We use some more kid friendly language, but it's really about the pictures anyway and he thinks its fabulous.
My plan was to enlarge this and laminate it to use, but as with many other things, it hasn't happened yet. Perhaps when we get down there I can make that happen.
At any rate, he is able to use this pretty effectively so I am hopeful it will work post-op as well.
Along with all the role-playing have come many questions. Some of which I was NOT prepared to hear from a 4 year old.
Questions like:
T: "What is Dr. Hanley going to do to my heart?"
Me: Sweet....I've got this. "He is going to make it stronger so you will be able to run faster and jump higher and not get so tired and purple. Cool, right???"
T: "But whaaaat is he going to do?"
Me: Uhhhhhh.....thinking.....think...ing... "Welllllll, most people have walls in their heart to make 4 different rooms. But you don't have all your walls, so Dr. H is going to build you some walls. Isn't that AWESOME?!"
T: eyes narrowed, suspiciously...."Waaaaaiiiit. How is he going to get to my heart???!"
Me: looooooong pause....o.m.g..."You know your scar? Dr. H is going to get to your heart through that again." please stop asking questions, please please pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase stop.
T: visible panic..."But that will HURT!!!!!!"
Me: But no! Remember the mask with the sleepy air?? They will give you that and you will go to sleep and not feel ANYTHING! And then when you wake up, we will be there and the nurses and doctors and mommy and daddy will make sure you have all the right medicines to help it not hurt. Remember the lego heads??"
T: clearly not that convinced..."Okay."
ACK! Worst. Conversation. EVER!
I think at this point he is anxious, but handling it well. He articulates his concerns (obviously) and I feel like I'm still able to answer them without scaring the stuffing out of him.
So tomorrow we head off on our California Adventure for the second time. Only this time, we are going to have a little more fun. (Last time, the best part was ABSOLUTELY visiting with these gorgeous people.
THIS time we are taking the scenic route and camping our way down the Oregon Coast. So tomorrow we will hit Cannon Beach where we will play in the sand and sun and I will eat 2.5 pounds of amazing fudge that I may, or may not share with anyone.
Then on Tuesday, we will drive down the coast and check out the Sea Lion Caves and check out some lighthouses along the way. We will camp again at Harris Beach State Park, just before the Cali boarder.
We will head down to Palo Alto via the Redwood Forest (naturally) and hopefully have a little bit of time to hang out in San Fran.
I'm excited to spend some time doing fun things as a family before the tough stuff begins.
Speaking of that....
Pre-op on Thursday. Probably all day again.
Surgery is scheduled for the first and only case on Friday.
We are ready and not ready all at the same time.
I adore these words of wisdom from a lovely friend of mine,
Tiernan would do this for himself if he could, but since he's a child, the duty falls to the parent to make the choice for him in his best interests. You are absolutely doing the right thing! It's what makes being a parent so difficult and at the same time, a sacred trust.
~Beatrice Skelley
And, while I'm on the subject of lovely friends, thank you to ALL of you who pray and send positive thoughts and love our way. We feel all of it and thrive on it. So many of you have been extremely generous as well, and we have stowed away those gifts to use now. Thank you for supporting us in every way possible. We feel loved and uplifted every step of this journey.
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