But on Thursday, for the first time in a long time, I answered that question with a confident "GREAT!"
And it sort of surprised me. I wasn't fully expecting it. But it made me feel even better!
And that is when it hit me.
We have made it.
To that stable place I had heard about.
Here we are.
And I suddenly thought of several moments from that hellish first year.
I vividly remember one night in the Mary Bridge PICU when things were not going well. Tiernan had just been officially declared to be in severe congestive heart failure again. We were trying to decide whether or not to transport up to Seattle for surgery or if he needed to go down to Stanford instead, and things were just looking so bad. He was screaming and screaming and I had a Terms of Endearment Shirley McLaine moment and lost my mind at the nurses station. And at that moment, Jodi, one of our beloved nurses from cardiology, stopped me and said with a confidence that I am not totally sure she believed (knowing how Dr. S. has recalled that time with Tiernan), "This. Is. Not. The. End! Tiernan IS going to get through this. And you ARE going to be seeing him eat and grow big and strong and you ARE going to be going crazy dealing with the terrible twos and ALL of that!" (now that may not be a direct quote, but it is close.)
And we are here. Terrible Twos. Eating. Big and Strong.
Thank you Jodi!!!! I love you! You have no idea what that meant to me. You have kept me sane more times than I can count.
And I thought of a day I had taked Tiernan over to my beautiful friend Jesse's house for a visit following his DKS/Glenn.
He was on continuous GJ feeds 20 hours a day and medications upwards of 15 times a day. Jesse's son, Luke was 3 and thriving! She went to pull his meds...2 syringes. 2. And I sat there fighting back tears and wanting so badly to be in that place. And I said something to that effect and Jesse reminded me, emphatically, that we would someday get there. Patience.
And we are here. 2 syringes.
Thank you Jesse!!!!! I love you. You are such an amazing gift from God.
And I thought of every time I was feeling completely hopeless and convinced fully that Tiernan would never get rid of that stupid tube. The encouragement from my beautiful "sister" Heather telling me all about how her Asher was finally eating. And his tube was gone. And one day Tiernan's would be too. And to just. be. patient. And to trust God. And, although, I have not always waited with grace, I was patient.
And we are here. No tube. No chronic pain for Tiernan.
Thank you Heather!!!! I love you. You understand what few others do. Thank you for your wisdom.
God has blessed us so completely in all things. I am so thankful for these and countless others for their steadfast encouragement
And the fact remains, we have no idea how long we will stay in this wonderful season, but I am going to live it to the fullest.
No comments:
Post a Comment